Are all Australians Psychopaths?

1 Jun

I was on the phone with an early morning call with M. (she’s part of a company I give the moniker “Sub Rosa Capital” to when I talk about them: they are a hybrid private equity and venture capital firm specializing in IT and websites).  M is one of my favorite people to talk to: she’s unapologectically bad.  She openly admits she hates her kids and hopes they steal a car so she can send them to military school; she won’t leave her husband because it would hurt her career; and her boss, the Charming Cueball, told me once he won’t fire her because she’s good at her job and also because he’s afraid she would lose it and kill him.  She’s over-turned desks and, a year ago, I did a site visit with her, she slugged someone in the face.  As far as I can tell, I’m her only friend.  And, I don’t like her.  Nobody likes her.    


She called me up early this morning because I’m an early-bird and we haven’t talked in awhile.  Sub Rosa is in the process of raising capital and they approached Macquarie, it’s Australia’s Goldman Sachs, for money.  She then proceeded to tell me the worst business story I’ve ever heard.  The team of professional liars at Macquarie where trying to screw Sub Rosa over and Sub Rosa figured it out (my personal theory is Sub Rosa figured it out because it’s exactly what they would do if they had no souls).  She said, and I quote, “We approached them about [X issue] and they didn’t even bother to deny it.  They didn’t care they got caught.”  She then asked, “Have you ever had a good business dealing with the down under?”


And, no, no I haven’t.  In my jack-off life and career, I’ve dealt with roughly 20 Aussies:  I have always regretted it.  I dealt with Macquarie in a couple of deals when I worked in distressed debt: it was the only time in my life I would rather have been talking to Bear Sterns, Goldman, Cerebus Capital, or even a doctor telling me that, there’s no reason I can’t live for another twenty years, but I’m going to be bleeding out of my ears, eyes, and penis the entire time.  


Does anybody have a positive story about Australians or is the Anglo-spheres penal colony breed the world’s most effective sociopaths?


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