Not Funny then, Funny Now

1 Jun

Here’s a list of things that weren’t funny then, but are funny now

 

Find father’s porno movies, put in the VCR only to have the VCR eat the Tape.

Not funny then, funny now

 

Lose virginity and, within ten second of post-coitus snuggling, the girl’s boyfriend you didn’t know existed walks into the room and pulls out a golf club to bash your head.  While she jumped on his back, grab your clothes, run into the hallway naked, only to realize you grabbed her jeans, not yours.  Sneak back into the apartment to get jeans.  

Not funny then, funny now

 

Live in Spain for the express purpose of running with the bulls at Pamplona.  Despite it being a week long festival, you only have one day to do this.  On the one day you can do this, you get beat up by riot police.  You don’t end up running with the bulls.

Not funny then, funny now

 

Have a college roommate who is the state champion in wrestling from Georgia.  A huge black man, he’s smart, athletic, and a compulsive masterbator who has no problem doing it when you are the room with him.  He doesn’t even ask you to leave and will pull it out and start doing if you are there at anytime of the day.  It was uncomfortable to say the least and, when you brought this up to housing, new rules were written for roommates and became the first instance a freshman impacted any University policy.  

Not funny then, funny now

 

Think it is a good idea to date an unmedicated bipolar lesbian.  Wake up one morning to discover she is pointing a gun at your head.

Not funny then, funny now

 

Witness a fight outside your shower, rush out and help break it up wearing only a towel.  Give a witness statement to police wearing only a towel.

Not funny then, funny now

 

Ask someone out who lives in the same building in NYC.  Take to very nice restaurant.  At the end of the meal after you paid the bill, she tells you she is a prostitute. You didn’t know this.   She thought you knew this and was charmed by you taking her out.  You don’t sleep with her and are dissapointed because your thought she was nice.  

Not funny then, funny now

 

Collect comic books for years.  Stop collecting comics because you realize they are stupid.  Keep collection, though.  15 years later, have it appraised only to realize that it was the best investment you ever made with a return on investment of over 1,000%.  Regret not continuing collecting comic books.

Not funny then, still not funny now

 

Further Bulletins as Events Warrant

 

Chris

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