A Conversation I Wish I Never Had

20 Jun
I got a call from M. of Sub Rosa Capital last night.  M. works hard, doesn’t like her husband, once referred to her children as only being useful for spare parts (“The only good thing about my kids is that I might need a liver or a kidney one day.”), drinks heavily, will sit and masterbate at the office late at night, and is the most competent person I’ve ever met.  If she went to prison, she would be the alpha running the joint in about two days; the Warden would probably give her an office and an assistant to use so she could more efficiently organize beat-downs, drug dealing, and homicides.  And, I’m talking about a male prison.  
 
On the phone, we were discussing credit default swaps and how Buffet referred to them as “weapons of mass destruction” (I agree, I built some) when she nonchalantly mentions she had taken her kids and husband out to dinner, and they pissed her off so much she got up, left, and stranded them there.
 
Me: “How is that going to solve any problems?”  [I’m still in shock.]
M.: “It’s not.  My husband is too stupid to find his way home, but if the kids work together, they might be able to figure it out.  Rather then get married and have kids, I should have hired a gigaloo, a housekeeper, and bought a dog.”
Me: “Please tell me you are kidding and you are going back to get them.”  
 
Pause.
 
M.: “Yeah, I will…after I hit the liquor store.  I haven’t had a drink since 6 am and I’m getting the shakes.  They are getting pretty bad and, since I don’t have my head-set, it’s getting hard to hold the phone and steer my Benz.  I’ll talk to you later.”
 
If anybody needs me, I’ll be in the shower to wash the stink off my soul.
 
Further Bulletins as Events Warrant
 
C
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