Halloween has Gone too Far

31 Oct

As a society, I think we have gone completely over-board on this Halloween thing.  

 
Something happened at some point in my teens when Halloween went from a night where kids dressed up and ran around a neighborhood collecting tooth-decaying junk food to where adults spend hundreds of dollars on outfits with sexual innuendos Sigmund Freud would be proud of.  I feel like I’m getting way too in touch with other peoples’ subconscious when I look at their costumes.  If I go to a party, people get out of control and they act like completely different people.  Social conventions exist for a very simple purpose: so the crazies don’t scare the few of us who are, in fact, sane.  Halloween completely undermines this principle because it is acceptable for a grown adult–many of whom are partially educated and successful–to behave in manner which would have sparked genocide in any other society.  

 
I hate Halloween because there is no way I can win on this day.  I don’t like attending parties, I don’t like dressing up, and all my jokes fall flat.  I used to tell people, who asked me what I was going as, that I was dressed as a serial killer (so I don’t have to dress up…a joke nobody finds funny yet I continue to tell), I had the feeling they were mentally preparing their testimony to the authorities…yup, you’re dressed as a pregnant nun, I’m in street clothes and I’m the weird one.  
 
The worst part about Halloween is, when I tell people I just like to stay home and hand out candy to kids, they look at me like I’m a potential child molester who needs to be reported to the FBI.  This doesn’t change the fact Halloween is the biggest of the non-holidays right now.  I mean, it used to be Saint Patricks day, but Halloween has completely displaced that vomit induced drunk fest.  
 
I would rather celebrate Shark Week than Halloween; but, to be fair, I’d rather celebrate the Bond marathon than Christmas, Easter, Passover, Ramadon, New Years, or any other arbitrary celebration.  
 
To summarize, I’m going to be really grumpy tomorrow so, whatever happens, stay the $*#@ out of my way.
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